Remember when the world was your oyster? You were filled with energy. You didn’t have tons of obligations. You were probably turning a few heads and tripping the light fantastic. You walked with a spring in your step, looking at the beauty all around you, probably humming one of your favorite songs to yourself. Keep in mind the way it felt on your best days when you were twenty-five! Oh, yes, to be young and alive with charisma!
The dictionary defines Charisma as:
1. A divinely conferred gift or power.
2. A spiritual power or personal quality that gives an individual influence or authority over large numbers of people.
3. The special virtue of an office, function, position, etc., that confers or is thought to confer on the person holding it an unusual ability for leadership, worthiness of veneration, or the like.
In the song performed by Billy Joel, The River Of Dreams, it sounds like Billy was devoted in his desperate search to finding it. He ultimately discovers his inspiration is within, and that he has had access to it all along. If you get a chance, see the video of this upbeat song. I was in a Gospel Choir once and this song always brings back fond memories. Here are the lyrics:
In the middle of the night
I go walking in my sleep
Through the desert of truth
To the river so deep
We all end in the ocean
We all start in the streams
We're all carried along
By the river of dreams
In the middle of the night
So, how’s your charisma looking now? Are you down to the dregs, you know like coffee grounds? You certainly don’t need to be up in age to feel the effects of charisma depletion. I felt it for the first time at an early age in my 20’s after the birth of my first child. I was a bit overweight and worn out. I looked like a plump duck, and felt that life as I had known it disappeared with my 22 inch waist. My magic was no more. I was holding my beautiful baby, yet experiencing "baby blues."
If you're feeling depleted, overwhelmed, stressed-out, frumpy, worn out, bored or lethargic, you may have lost your magic, you know, your charisma.
But you can’t remain in that magic-less place for long, or your lost magic might mushroom in to a full-blown depression. Just making some tiny life changes can release the magic of your charisma so that you can start to feel more energy and enthusiasm about yourself and all that this glorious world has to offer.
Don’t give up on yourself. Here are ten very actionable ways to get your groove back:
1. Address Stress.
If you're feeling overwhelmed and stressed, lighten the load and address the source of the stress before you do anything else. Whether it’s work, a personal conflict, plenty of things on your to-do list, or having plenty of demands on your time from relatives or friends, you need to pinpoint the reason and take action. With the help of a friend who can give you perspective and feedback, let some things go or find ways to delegate. Very few things in life are worth the physical and emotional toll of chronic stress.
2. Keep a Mental Picture of “What Fun Is.”
Fun is way underrated, and it's an essential element of a strong charisma. Right now, go grab a pen and paper. Think about the times in your life when you had fun, and write them down. Go over the events in your head and mentally re-live these fun and happy times. Circle a few of these activities that you may want to enjoy again. Then pick a couple and go do them!
3. Get Physical.
Hopefully a few of these fun activities are physical activities. Without putting the pressure on your self to start an exercise routine (which can feel like work and generate more stress), think of some ways you can get physical and enjoy it. Take a bicycle ride. Play tennis or basketball. Go dancing with a group of fun friends. Drive to the mountains and take a hike. Get up from your chair and skip around the room or do some jumping jacks. Just get moving and enjoy it.
4. Take An Electronic Sabbatical.
It’s so simple to plop in front of the TV or computer when you're feeling low on energy. When you're always in that favorite chair of yours, it's so hard to get back up. For a few days at least, turn off the tv and computer so that you're forced to do something. Have a conversation along with your partner or children. Clear clutter or organize something. Go buy some flowers and arrange them. Read something inspirational or motivating. Do something… do anything, that is positive, productive and joyful. No more sitting and zoning out.
5. Be Brilliant.
When you're in a crowd of people, look around you. Most people are not model ideal. In fact, most people have plenty of physical imperfections. Even so-called ideal people tend to focus on their flaws. So forget about comparisons, and make the very best of what you have. Be brilliant! Take care of yourself. Obtain a great haircut, put on some make-up, wear clothes that make you feel happy and stunning. Highlight the beauty inside of you by reflecting self-esteem on the outside.
6. Hang Around With The Best.
In the course of this time that you're getting your groove back, spend time with people whose magic cup is full. Be with individuals who motivate you, uplift you, require the best for you, and who are just fun to be around. If there's folks in your life who drain you or make you uncomfortable, this is the time to put them on hold until you reclaim your charisma. Don’t isolate yourself. Go out with fun people and have some fun.
7. Do Something Adventurous.
Shake your life up a bit. Do something that is out of character or unexpected. Book a trip to a fascinating, exciting location. Go whitewater rafting, well maybe that’s a bit scary. Tell somebody you care about the way you feel. Be spontaneous. Do something that you’ve always desired to do.
8. Love Your Body.
When you lose your magic, you can mistreat your bodies with much alcohol, fatty/sugary foods, or medications. It’s impossible to get your energy back when your body is sedated with yucky stuff. Treat your body with loving-kindness. Eat good-supporting foods like plenty of veggies, fruits and lean meats and less processed, high overweight bad-for-you foods.
9. Train Your Brain.
When you're down on yourself, your mind likes to take over with negative thoughts, worry, and over-thinking. You need to treat your unruly mind the way you would a puppy or tiny kid. Every time it spirals off in to negative thinking, redirect your thinking to positive memories or thoughts, gratitude or anything pleasant. You must do this plenty of times until your mind knows you mean business. Before long, it will be natural for you to redirect negative thinking patterns.
10. If Your Magic Is Late, Don’t Wait.
If you have taken action to get your magic back, but you're still feeling lethargic, worn out or in the dumps after a few weeks, absolutely go to your doctor. There's a selection of physical and emotional reasons for feeling this way, and it might be something as simple as low iron or poor sleeping habits. When you have little energy, you may not feel like making an appointment. But don’t give up your precious, stunning days to a “charisma” thief. Take action and reclaim your magic and get your charisma back!
